No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
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Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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