I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
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He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
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It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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