Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize