My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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