If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
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He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
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You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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