is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize