Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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