Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize