I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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