Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize