drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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