Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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