TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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