just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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