I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
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So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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