stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I don't deserve a penis
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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