I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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