Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
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and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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