Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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