I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize