Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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