his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
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No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
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If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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