i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize