Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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