He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
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Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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