Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
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The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
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Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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