Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize