Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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