Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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