You're earring is so big in my mouth
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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