the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize