Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize