Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
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He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
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nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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