You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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