I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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