My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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