Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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