She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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