There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize