did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
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