He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Barsexuality is the new black.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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