Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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