we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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