He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
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Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
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The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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