There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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