She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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