I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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