So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize