I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize