I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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